Effective Listening "See first to understand, then to be understood" Stephen Covey Have you ever been involved in a conversation where you are the speaker and in disbelief, you notice your listener shift their eyes to somewhere over your shoulder! 

We are all guilty from time to time.  Instead of listening, we are focused anywhere but on the speaker.  Preparing what we are going to say, or thoughts about what we are doing later, or what’s on our to-do-list.  Distracting thoughts which are only serving to create a dis-connection.  And no wonder we fail to listen

We know when we’re not being listened to – we can feel insulted which creates pain and resentment, when we know they haven’t heard a word.  How many times have you been 'listening' to someone - but not heard a word they said? You weren't concentrating!  Hearing is passive, while listening is an active process.
 
When we choose to actively listen to our partners, the communication lines open.  Sadly, this very simple tool can be the missing link in a relationship.  Funny how when we first met, we are all ears then as time evolves, we develop selective hearing and unconsciously ‘tune out’.  Tuning in is the key to love, connection and healing the communication breakdown.
 actively when we have distractions like facebook, ipods, phones, and overwhelmingly to- do-lists.
Effective listening is a communication technique that requires the listener to understand, interpret, and evaluate what (s)he hears.
The ability to actively listen will allow a space that feels safe to voice concerns, strengthen ties and foster understanding in our personal relationships.

Feeling completely listened to, is a gift of love.   It’s no wonder our kids rebel when parents talk over the top of them.  We sometimes forget that our kids have feelings, that they too have a voice and deserve to say what’s on their mind without interruption.  Unfortunately most of us parents were never given the gift of listening from our parents.  Remember the old saying, children should be seen and not heard.  A recipe bound to incite rebellion!


Whether its kids, friends or family we all deserve to be listened to, completely.  When we are listened to, we feel:  Important - Grateful - Respected.
 

Tips for Activating your Listening Skills:

 Love - focus your undivided attention on communicating with love
  Interested - consider with curiosity how they are feeling
 Silent - stay silent & allow them to fully articulate what they want to say
  Truthful - when we feel safe to speak our truth we feel validated
 Empathy - listen to understand where they are coming from
  Neutral - let go of your own agenda & have complete focus


The more you do it, the easier active listening will become and your reward will be happier, harmonious relationships!
 

 


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